situation hopeless but not serious

one time i got a papercut on my face from a whole foods bag

Jul 24
idk, isn’t the world the UN’s turf

idk, isn’t the world the UN’s turf


the apocalypse nears

the apocalypse nears


Jul 23

i’ve had a carton of orange juice every weekday for the last two weeks. there have been three sick people around me.

summer cold ain’t gettin me this year.


GPS For the Soul

The Advantage of Starting a New Life in Costa Rica

GPS For the Soul

The Advantage of Starting a New Life in Costa Rica


Jul 22

maria shriver looks like if keri russell saw something awful and never forgot it


somehow not the most ringing endorsement

somehow not the most ringing endorsement


the problem with flying too close to the sun with self tanners is that you literally look like you flew too close to the sun


Jul 21

nothing like anxiety over a three week-old mistake you didn’t know you were making on a monday night


it’s a cruel fact of life that idiot men wearing sunglasses on the subway (??) still radiate confidence and sex appeal.


Jul 20

I’ve laundered, I’ve sanitized, now all that’s left is to pray I don’t get hand warts


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